A Little Too Far
by YonderB
Summary: Oneshot. AU. CLC. They'd gone too far this time. For Zeff N Company.


It was a nice day in the city of Radiant Garden, clouds sometimes fogging over the sky and sprinkling the city below in a shower or two, but moving on quickly. The air was nice, cool and refreshing, the plants that speckled about the city were reaching as high as they could go.

A young gentleman in his mid-twnties sat at a small round table in a quaint little cafe, seated on the upstairs layer, almost the whole cafe open to the air since it didn't have a complete roof- a little like a colosseum, but a lot smaller, rectangular-shaped, and with only two levels.

Said young gentleman sat there, alone at his table, his shoulder-length brown hair framing his handsome face in quite a flattering manner, tangling in the grey-white fur ruff of his leather jacket. His eyes were like a very stormy day: a swirl of lots of different shades of grey, but with a little bit of blue here and there.

The brunet sighed, shifting slightly in his very tight leather pants and picking at his simple white shirt, the chain around his neck tinkling and the lion pendant hanging from it glimmering, a flicker of light sweeping across the young man's face, shimmering across the long, diagonal scar across the bridge of his nose.

The young man's eyes floated across his surroundings and his lips thinned a little in distaste.

For the lack of a better word, the cafe was... fabulous. There were young pretty waiters scuttling around in strangely low black V-necks, there were posters of fabulous specimens of males on the walls wearing a few treasure-chests worth of jewelry and strange but artistic make-up, the waiters seemed to check him out every time they passed, and the whole place just stank of faggotry.

It made Leon decidedly uncomfortable. Not that he showed it, of course.

He'd been blackmailed into coming here and having lunch with a 'friend', though, he thought he should start referring to her as something less kind. She liked to be called a ninja, since she'd been practicing martial arts since she was quite young, but, that doesn't mean she'd never stoop so low to blackmail someone into doing something for her own amusement. His friend had chosen the place where they were to have lunch. Now, he knew why.

The brunet had been sitting there for ten minutes, chin in hand, when there was a squeak of a shoe meeting the polished wooden floor by the stairwell, and Leon looked up.

Standing there was a handsome young man with blond hair that was spiked in such a manner that it looked like it had either taken at least seventeen hours to style, or he'd just rolled out of bed and decided not to brush it. He looked about Leon's age, maybe a few years younger or older, it was hard to tell. He wore cargo-pants and a black button-up shirt with the right sleeve ripped off, but, he looked oddly stylish.

The brunet's grey eyes met the blond's impeccable blue ones, and the blond's mouth turned down minutely in a miniscule scowl.

"You too?" Leon murmured, watching as the blond strolled over to his table and seated himself on one of the remaining two seats. He'd probably been blackmailed into coming here, too. Cloud crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes, leaning back a little on is chair, effectively ending the conversation before it even got started.

Suddenly, there was a young waiter standing before their table, a beaming grin on his pretty face. He had a blond-brown mohawk and bright, shining blue eyes. He wore the uniform of the cafe (a strangely low black V-neck, black dress pants and an apron) with a cheery, passionate demeanor like every single customer actually mattered to him.

"_So_, boys!" he chirruped, his little name tag glinting '_Demyx_' at them as he bounced about on the balls of his feet. "You guys want menus now, or later, or do you know what you want already?"

Cloud's eyes stayed firmly closed, so, Leon replied instead.

"Menus for three, please," he murmured, looking thoroughly uninterested, but, Demyx didn't take it personally.

"Sure!" cried the waiter, smile somehow brightening. "Cheery-o!" and with that, he pranced off downstairs to get the menus, his flowery, frilly little apron fluttering about his thighs.

"If I have to suffer through this, so do you," the brunet muttered, eying the other male disdainfully. The blond didn't even open his eyes to reply.

"I am not going to add fuel to their sparkly rainbow fires by talking or giving them eye-contact. I _refuse_." Clearly, Cloud was as uncomfortable with the gay surroundings as the other male was.

"OH,_ HEY GUYZ!_" came a shriek, making both men flinching at the sound, a girl in her late teens bounding over to the table with far too much energy to spare. She wore shorts and a shirt with a ninja on it, and even a ninja headband, keeping her short brown hair from falling into her bright brown eyes.

Yuffie pranced over to their table and flopped unceremoniously onto the remaining seat, beaming at the two men so widely that her jaw should've dislocated. Leon sent a sizzling glare back, and Cloud even opened his eyes half-way to scowl at the young girl.

The young ninja sighed joyously, beaming at the two men as though she was immune to the daggers that they were glaring at her.

"So, you two obviously found the cafe all right," she twittered cheerily, bouncing her knees up and down under the table and flicking her eyes from one male to the other, then back again.

"_Obviously,_" Cloud seethed.

"So," Yuffie giggled into her fist. "Waddiya think?"

Before either male could reply –if they were going to reply, we shall never know– Demyx appeared once more at their table, holding three laminated menus. Before he could place them down, however, his eyes fell upon Yuffie, and the young mohawk-headded teen exploded into one of the highest squeals either of the other men at the table had heard, the menus flying into the air.

"_YUFFIESHNOOKYPOOH!_" Demyx babbled at a piercing note, one of Cloud's eyes squinting closed in pain.

"_DEMYWEMYWUVVLE!_" Yuffie cried in reply, jumping to her feet and unsettling the table in such a manner that all of the utensils hopped to the side and a couple of the sharper ones almost landed in Leon's lap.

The two teens leapt into each other's arms and continued squealing, jumping up and down in a circle in such a manner often seen reenacted between two five-year-old girls who haven't seen each other all recess.

"I didn't know you were coming _today!_" Demyx squealed, the two of them pausing in their jumping about to just stand in front of the other, very close, and holding hands.

"I sent you a text message, you big, _fat, silly-billy!_" cackled the brunette, getting up on her toes and bumping her forehead against his, beaming all the while. Her cackling increased when Demyx's hands flew up and he cried '_The hair! The HAIR!_', all while fingering his mohawk and trying to feel if there were any hairs out of place.

Plopping herself back on her chair, Yuffie sighed happily and beamed up at the waiter, ignoring Leon as he placed all the utensils back into their proper places on the table. "I'll have my usual, Demy-wemy."

The waiter paused, hands still on his hair, before he blinked and suddenly had a pen and paper held in between his fingers, kneeling down beside the table and placing the pad on it.

"Okay, one large orange juice..." Demyx scribbled it down on the pad in almost unreadable handwriting, and then looked up at the other two at the table. "What about you two fellas?"

"Kopi sasu," the brunet said, collecting the three menus and placing them beside the waiter's pad. He could've almost sworn he heard the spiky-haired blond beside him mumble '_prissy foreign coffee shit._', but he wasn't sure.

"Calypso coffee," Cloud said, eying the young male's pen as it scribbled across the lined paper.

"A coffee with liqueur?" Leon murmured incredulously, one eyebrow arching. "For lunch?"

"It's five o'clock somewhere," shrugged the blond, sending the other male a withering stare.

"Keep going like that, and people will start to think you're an alcoholic."

"Keep worrying about my social life, and people will start to think you're a fag."

"_Why you--!_"

Demyx's eyes flickered between the two older men before he leaned to the side and whispered behind his hand at Yuffie. "Who_ are _these two, anyway?"

"_They're _the ones I _told_ you about!" the ninja whispered loudly back, a skull-splitting grin plastered across her face.

"_OH!_" cried Demyx, jumping to his feet, both of the older men snapping their attention to him. "So _these_ are the ones you told me about, who want to get into each other's pants!"

With that, the waiter scooped up his pad, pen, _and_ the menus, and wandered down the stairs again with a curious little "_Huh!_", a bemused expression on his face.

Meanwhile, back at the table, Yuffie's hair was almost on fire because of the two powerfully irate glares directed at her. Both men just sat there, their eyes almost glowing with rage, the young ninja sinking steadily into her chair.

"I... IthinkI'mgonna_gopowdermynosebye!_" garbled the girl, but before she could even stand, her wrist was suddenly snatched up in a very tight grip and she yelped.

"Break her wrist," Cloud growled viciously, blue eyes boring a smoldering hole in between the little ninja's eyes. Yuffie squeaked in terror, looking straight at the other brunet who was holding her wrist, keeping her prisoner at the table, her breaths coming in high-pitched wheezes.

"_Don't_ tell me what to do," Leon snarls back at the other man almost immediately, grip tightening a little, causing the bones of the brunette's wrist to grate together, but not enough to break anything... yet.

"_Snap... her... wrist,_" the blond says again, enunciating each word as though it was something to be savored, his voice becoming nothing but a breathy growl.

"Why are you spreading lies about us, Yuffie?" Leon hisses in a dangerously calm voice, staring down at the little brunette who had sunk so far into her chair that only her nose and up could be seen besides her arm, which the brunet was keeping a very tight hold of.

"'snotlies!" the girl piped up after a moment of terrified silence, her bright brown eyes impossibly wide and shimmering with tears of fright.

"_Are so!_" Cloud snapped, making the little ninja squeak and duck, as though his voice alone was a weapon aimed directly between her eyes.

"You two have things for each other, I know you do!" Yuffie cried, continuing before either of them could interrupt. "I see how you two look at each other, I know you guys feel it! You get all touchy-feely sometimes and when Cloud gets sick, Leon, you're always looking after him! You're just in denial! You two are in lov--"

Cloud had heard enough. He was on his feet, one of the serrated knives from the table in hand, already raised and aimed toward the little ninja's face. He was not the kind of person to kill someone, but he _was_ the kid of person to give them a marring scar –that was how Leon received the scar across his nose in the first place– and/or one less limb.

"_Strife!_" Leon barked, still seated, grip tightening on Yuffie's wrist as the girl tried to lean as far away from the blond as possible. Cloud paused, glaring fiercely down at the little ninja. "Put the knife _down_, Strife."

A little argument seemed to burst to life inside the blond's head –should he listen, should he not?– before suddenly the knife flew through the air with a whistle. It slammed into the table, landing sharp point down, quivering, in the fake marble directly next to Yuffie's forearm.

Gracefully sitting down once more, seemingly calm and as composed as ever, Cloud crossed his arms over his chest and glared off to the side.

The brunet tried to ask the ninja beside him why she would tell waiter such a thing, releasing her wrist, but Yuffie just kept repeating that it was the truth, and they just didn't know it yet. The conversation continued for a few more minutes, but the moment Cloud started reaching for a knife again, the subject was dropped.

Things simmered down as Demyx pranced back a little while later with their drinks, telling them that their little kerfuffle earlier was quite fantastic, and that as long as no blood was spilt, it'd be fine for them to continue because the staff quite liked soap operas. Especially ones with love-triangles and pretty men. But, the boss preferred if nothing else got damaged.

Things continued simmering down when they ordered their lunch –a hearty salad for Leon, some pasta and a sundae for Yuffie, and a steak for Cloud– and it all melted down to the usual as Yuffie talked about what new things had happened in her martial arts training while Leon pretended to listen, and Cloud drank his second coffee with liqueur. All of them had forgotten about the little argument, of sorts.

Finally, their food appeared, carried by a tall, handsome fellow with a head of hair that could only be described as 'voluminous', the shade of brown-pink making one stare at it for a few moments, trying to figure out how one would describe it.

Leaning over, the waiter's name tag –_Marluxia_– swung a little as he placed the tray of food on the table and placed the items in front of the right people. Yuffie could see right down to his navel because of his ludicrously low V-neck, and she promptly dissolved into hearty giggles.

The handsome waiter smirked as he straightened up, turning away to float down the stairs again. But, before he disappeared, his hand strayed off the tray cupped against his chest to let his fingertips sweep over Cloud's nude shoulder fleetingly. Before the blond could react, the waiter was already at the bottom of the stairs and hurrying into the kitchen, rosy cologne fluttering through the air like rose petals.

Grey eyes flick over the rim of the coffee mug at the male beside him, and Leon lowers the blue porcelain a little, a dark eyebrow raising minutely at Cloud, who's eyes seemed to be a molecule wider than they usually were.

"What's your problem?" the brunet grunted, taking another sip.

The other male seemed to be struggling with whatever it was that happened, his mouth opening a millimeter or so before closing, then opening again, a small, confused scowl melting onto his face. "He touched me."

" . . . " said the ever-so-concerned Squall Leonhart, grey eyes staring impassively at widened blue ones that stared back.

"He _touched_ me." It seemed that a single brush of physical contact was enough to send the blond-haired, blue-eyed hunk of a man into shell shock. But, still, the man was usually so intimidating one tried not to even perforate his giant bubble of personal space, not to mention actually _touching_ him.

"Did he touch you in your naughty-place, sweetums?" Leon cooed, the edge of his mouth twitching upwards a little against the rim of the mug. Bright blue eyes shrunk a molecule or two back to their usual size, flat and uncaring, fixing the other male with a simmering scowl.

"Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't mind if a molesting hand touched you, oh, Ice Prince, _sir_," Cloud crooned back, lips curling minutely into a tiny sneer.

Yuffie, meanwhile, seemed like her eyeballs were in a tennis match, snapping from one male to the other, her mouth pursed into an excited O shape, hands clasped under her chin, waves of pure _glee_ splashing off the girl as she continued to watch the scene unfold. More often than not, little spats like this caused many a fabulous tale to tell your grandkids.

"I wouldn't react like it was the end of life as I know it," Leon hissed, placing his mug down and crossing his arms across his chest defiantly.

Those words seemed to make the blond's sneer widen a little before his tongue swept across his lips and the sneer disappeared all together. The two men continued to glare into the others' eyes, the air almost crackling with the tension. Yuffie, meanwhile, was almost bouncing up and down on her chair, absolutely riveted.

Suddenly, there was a hand on Leon's thigh and sliding up the tight, warm leather to cup the other man through his pants. A knee-jerk reaction immediately ensued, the brunet slapping Cloud's hand off him, Yuffie hearing the sharp _SNAP_ of skin against skin, her eyes widening and her mouth becoming an even bigger O shape.

Placing his arm back onto the armrest beside him, Cloud rose his eyebrows at the other male silently, as though he was waiting for something specific.

"I... wh- y- bu-- ... What _possessed_ you to do that?!" the brunet finally was able to splutter, staring at the other man as though he'd grown demon-like a wing out of his shoulder. Cloud broke into a crooked smirk.

"Cloud, one. Leon, nil!" cried Yuffie happily. She was keeping score, and that was what started it. Neither males could turn down a challenge. They never could. They would fight to get the upper hand, then it would be taken from them, then they'd fight to get it back again. Like sword fighting between two almost-equal fighters. They could never, ever, turn down a challenge.

No matter how ludicrous it was.

Every single time a new challenge arose, it was more drastic and strange than the next. They didn't care, as long as they won.

The brunet was glaring at the smug smirk that was sprawled lazily across the blond's face. There was no fucking way he was going to be out-done by him. No _fucking_ way.

Suddenly, there was a fist gripping Cloud's spiky hair and the blond let out a gasp of pain, twisting a little away from the hand, mouth a little open and teeth bared. And then- there was a mouth on his, a tongue against his, and he could smell Leon's cologne.

A slow, high-pitched breath rasped into Yuffie's lungs and she was leaning as far back in her chair as she could, lungs as full as they could be, hands clasped in front of her wide, surprised, open mouth, eyes watering but staring fixedly at the two men. She was just short of squealing.

Several of the pretty waiters were frozen in their practiced activities, bodies twisted around to stare, some of them even trying to peer at what was happening from downstairs.

Clearly, the regulars of the cafe were either used to such happenings taking place, or they were just too involved with the awesome food and drink they were having.

Yuffie wasn't breathing as she watched the two men kiss fiercely. It was like they were warriors or something, which was quite odd, since one was a computer programmer, and the other was a mechanic. From what she could see, the two of them were going all out. The ninja somehow wheezed in another mouthful of air at the sight of Cloud biting quite hard on Leon's lip.

It was all sucking lips, licking tongues, and biting teeth. Dirty, harsh, painful, fucking _good_. The sick, sensual noises they were making were making some of the waiters shift uncomfortably from foot to foot, and even some of the other customers had looked up to see what had stolen their waiter's attention from them.

Finally, one of Cloud's hands slammed against Leon's chest and shoved him back hard enough for his chair to screech a few centimeters away from him, the two of them separating immediately.

The blond placed his elbow on the arm rest beside him and rose a hand, the back of his fist being placed against his kiss-bruised, bitten lips, bright blue eyes staring, unseeing, off to the side. The brunet raised his mug to his lips and gulped some down, choking a little, placing the mug back down and placing his hand over his tingling lips.

"One all!" Yuffie said squeakily with a jaw-shattering grin.

Neither man looked at the other. They'd gone too far this time.

((END. I went to cafe like the one described in this oneshot. I was giggling the whole time I was there because I kept getting ideas for this. My brother thought I was going insane. Very recently, I saw what Zeff N Company said about my writing at the end of his fic Cups Of Coffee (one of the best fics I have read for a long time.) and I felt I should maybe do a little something for him in thanks, because I'm too much of a coward to say it to his face. Enjoy!))


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